


Back in the Closet

by TonySawicki



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: A lot of talking and Kyo getting cranky, Alcohol, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Kissing, M/M, Potentially bad behavior from our heroes but what are you gonna do, Riding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 10:48:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20308231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonySawicki/pseuds/TonySawicki
Summary: A party—even a bad party—could be tolerable if Kyo knew he was there with Die, if he could lean against his shoulder or reach over and squeeze his hand. There was safety in knowing if it got to be too much, Die would notice and could drive him home.Instead, they had all come together, and Die and Kyo were required to keep their relationship from being discovered. It was not Kyo’s idea of a fun evening.





	Back in the Closet

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another one! I guess this is really just about... those Awful people that we've all met in these situations.  
(Sidenote: I'm pretty sure that in real life, Die decided to cut way back on his drinking? Is that still ongoing? Buuuut... I still generally have him drinking in my fics... Sorry about that, Die. Maybe someday I'll be more reflective of his restraint. Tbh I haven't been able to keep up with his blog lately because for some reason it's having an issue reading my credit card and it won't let me log in?! It's actually really frustrating. Anyway, that is just a tangent, and fictional!Die still drinks, for now.)  
PS I don't necessarily recommend their handling of things haha but Spite is a powerful thing.  
Thank you all <3

It wasn’t the kind of party Kyo ever would have chosen to go to, if he’d had a say in the matter. He’d only met the host once, in passing, and didn’t know the other guests well either, aside from his bandmates. However, he hadn’t been allowed to opt out. All of Dir en grey was attending as a unit, and it was _important_, management had stressed, that they come off well, that they appear sociable and polite and make a good impression.

Reasonably, Kyo had tried to point out that if that was the case it would be safer for him to stay home, but they’d been adamant that the _whole_ band go and make nice.

Kyo’s desire to be there did not increase once they arrived. 

“It’s just a few hours,” Kaoru said to him quietly. “I have seen you survive worse things in the past.”

“I’m not arguing that,” Kyo said, his eyes lingering on a rather large, ornate crucifix that hung on the kitchen wall. “I’m just not comfortable with whatever _sociable_ image they want me to put on.”

“Yes, I know, you’re more comfortable when they ask you to put on the image of being an asshole with no friends,” Kaoru said.

Kyo smiled a little. “’s a lot easier.”

“And it’s still an image,” Kaoru said. “So play the role for the evening, and then you and Die can go home and put whatever unpleasantness you experience here behind you.”

“Maybe it won’t even be that unpleasant,” Shinya said, appearing at his other shoulder. “I know you love being a pessimist, but we don’t really know the guy hosting, maybe he’s cooler than you think.”

Kaoru nodded. “It’s wrong to judge people before you know them."

Kyo made a face, but nodded, if only to get the two of them off his case.

Really Kaoru had just barely touched on one of the most infuriating aspects of the whole thing for Kyo. When the band usually went to parties, there was no need for Kyo and Die to hide their relationship; all the members obviously knew they were together, had been together for years, and no one had any problem with it. When it was a party like this, though, they were basically expressly forbidden to make their relationship known, and that was something Kyo truly despised.

A party—even a _bad_ party—could be tolerable if Kyo knew he was there with Die, if he could lean against his shoulder or reach over and squeeze his hand. There was safety in knowing if it got to be too much, Die would notice and could drive him home.

Instead, they had all come together, and Die and Kyo were required to keep their relationship from being discovered. It was not Kyo’s idea of a fun evening.

Kaoru and Shinya moved with their drinks into the living room, leaving Kyo in the kitchen. He was hoping to get a moment alone with Die, just to get the strength he needed to make it through the party, but Die was currently occupied talking to some girl with streaks dyed in her hair. Kyo recognized her as a friend of their host, but couldn’t think of her name. As he approached, he felt a sharp pang of irritation as he realized they were speaking English, preventing him from even joining their conversation.

It wasn’t that surprising, really. The party’s host himself was some American music industry guy who had been living in Japan the past couple years. He would be a good connection for them to have, especially if they wanted to maintain their fanbase overseas, and although he seemed to speak Japanese fluently from the one time Kyo had met him, it only made sense that he would have English-speaking guests at his party.

Before Kyo was close enough to interrupt, the girl was tugging Die’s arm, dragging him off into the other room. Kyo scowled, and was about to follow them, when a large hand clapped him on the shoulder and he jumped.

“Kyo! I’m so glad to see you. I was really hoping I’d get to pick your brain about some stuff.”

Kyo looked up into the somewhat classically handsome face of the evening’s host and forced a half-hearted smile. “Andrew-san—”

“_Please_, call me AJ!” His cologne was way too strong this close, and Kyo found the way he was smiling a bit unnerving, but he tried not to let it show.

“AJ. Of course. Thank you for inviting all of Dir en grey, it’s an honor to be welcomed into your home.”

AJ clapped his shoulder again. “You guys are always welcome here! Now tell me, what can I get you to drink? I have beer, more beer, think there’s ume-shu around somewhere…”

Kyo cleared his throat politely, really wishing AJ would take his hand off him already instead of steering him back into the kitchen where the beverages were set up. “Thank you, but actually I don’t think. If you have bottled water, I’d go for one of those.”

AJ looked genuinely surprised. “Yeah, no problem!” He dropped his hand from Kyo’s shoulder so he could fish a bottle of water out of the fridge. “I’m sorry, man, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

_Offering me alcohol is the least of what is making me uncomfortable tonight_, Kyo thought, but he knew the guy was just trying to be friendly, and it wasn’t his fault that Kyo didn’t want to be there, so he just smiled and shook his head. “You’re fine, don’t worry about it.”

“C’mon, then!” And with that, AJ’s arm was around Kyo’s shoulders again, leading him into the living room where everyone was mostly sitting around talking.

One guy Kyo didn’t know had a guitar out and was fiddling around on it, talking with Kaoru, who didn’t seem totally disinterested in whatever he was saying. Toshiya was sitting over on the floor near them, drinking.

A quick scan of the room told Kyo that there was no available seat beside Die, as he was wedged on the couch in between two women who were mostly having their own conversation across him. He shot Kyo an apologetic look, but couldn’t do much else besides that.

Kyo headed for the armchair nearest the door to the hallway, hoping he could make an easy escape from there, and figuring it prevented anyone from sitting next to him.

“You know, Kyo, I don’t drink either,” AJ said, moving to sit perched on the arm of the loveseat Shinya was occupying, along with a foreign girl with bangs straight across her forehead.

“No?” Kyo hadn’t really meant to keep talking to him once he came in here, especially since now everyone had stopped their own conversations to watch this one.

AJ nodded. “For religious reasons.”

“Ah.”

“You’re religious?” Shinya said, clearly making the effort to actively participate in the discussion that now held the room’s attention, rather than just watching.

“I am a devout Christian,” AJ said proudly. “But, you know. I’m in a fight with God right now.”

Kyo didn’t even want to know what that meant.

“And what about you, Kyo?” AJ prompted.

“Mm, no, I’m not religious,” Kyo said.

“Oh, come on,” one of the girls next to Die said. “You’ve got to believe in _something_.”

Kyo arched an eyebrow, but before he could respond, Die was speaking for him.

“Nah, Kyo doesn’t believe in anything besides himself.”

Somehow it saddened Kyo to hear Die say that. Sure, he’d said it himself in the past, but it wasn’t completely true. He believed in music and the power of art. He believed in Die, and in what they had together. It wasn’t something he could start arguing here and now, but he still hoped that Die knew it.

The girl meanwhile looked skeptical. “_Really_?” She swept her long hair back over her shoulder and leaned forward, looking at Kyo seriously. “What would it take to make you believe in God?”

This was a much heavier topic than Kyo generally expected from parties like this. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Say a building is falling down, you’re watching it, and all of a sudden God comes down right out of the sky, stands in front of you, and _freezes_ the building, saving everyone inside.” She looked at Kyo pointedly. “You’d believe then, right?”

Kyo frowned, paused before shrugging helplessly. “But that would never _happen_.”

“Wow,” the girl sat back against the couch again. “He really has no belief system at all.”

The girl with streaks in her hair on the other side of Die spoke up, “People with no religious beliefs at all honestly scare me. There is no moral code whatsoever; they all just think it’s fine to steal and murder and do anything they want because there are no repercussions in their mind.”

The room went quiet.

“That’s true. Personally, I see nothing wrong with eating live babies, although I’d accept some elderly folk if there are no children available,” Kyo deadpanned.

Die laughed, and the girl looked at him with wide eyes. 

“Come on, Emiko,” Die said. “Kyo just said he’s not religious, but he’s not like what you said at all.”

“Just because I don’t put my faith in a religious figure, that doesn’t mean I can’t know right from wrong,” Kyo said, pulling one leg up onto his seat in an effort to get comfortable. “I just find it more practical to put my faith in something I know I can trust.” He caught Die’s eye for a split second before saying, “Namely myself.”

Die was grinning broadly enough Kyo could be sure he understood what he’d left unspoken. He rubbed his nose and said, “He believes in weird supernatural shit, too, though, honestly. You should ask him about ghosts—or get him started on _aliens_—”

“Nooo,” Kaoru interjected. “Please, don’t get Kyo started on aliens.”

Die was laughing again as Kyo said, “You all act like I’m being crazy, but aliens are basically a scientific inevitability.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” AJ said, waving his hand as he interrupted. He turned to Die. “Wow.”

Die raised his eyebrows in question, bright smile still painting his features.

“You have, like, weirdly perfect teeth,” AJ said.

Instantly, Die’s mouth closed, his smile now tight and false, lips pressed together.

“No, I mean it,” AJ went on, apparently oblivious to what Kyo thought was Die’s blatant discomfort. “They’re so white and straight—very Hollywood.”

Die gave a short nod, somehow muttering out a “thanks” without opening his mouth.

Even if AJ didn’t seem tuned into the tension he’d created in the room, no one else missed it, and after an awkward pause, Toshiya leapt up from his spot on the floor announcing that he’d run out of beer.

“Who else needs one?” he asked, and took note of the few people who raised their hands before he vanished into the kitchen.

Kyo sat in his chair, angrily drinking his water. Didn’t AJ have any sense at all? It was just rude to comment on someone’s teeth, even if he meant it as a compliment. Sure, maybe he was foreign and cultural rules were going to vary somewhat, but he’d been living in Japan long enough to know better. Besides, he didn’t _know_ Die that well, and calling attention to him like that in front of everyone? Kyo was almost surprised by the extremity of his own rage. He just hated seeing someone take away Die’s smile like that.

“So if Kaoru doesn’t want to talk about aliens,” Shinya said, valiantly attempting to rein the conversation back to something comfortable, “What shall we discuss instead?”

Toshiya returned with drinks, passing out beers to everyone who had requested one.

“You forgot Kyo-chan!” said the foreign girl next to Shinya.

The click of Kyo’s jaw as it set was audible over the vague guitar-playing.

“Kyo doesn’t drink,” AJ informed her, looking altogether too smug.

Much as Kyo didn’t want it to be the case, he found himself disliking their host more and more. He would rather they stick to business if they had to deal with him at all, but he wasn’t honestly sure he could handle even that.

To his relief, Kaoru picked up the ball, starting to talk about music, being very direct in how he addressed AJ, comparing the industry as it functioned locally versus overseas. Kyo pretty much tuned it out unless someone was specifically asking him something, wanting some time off from being the center of attention for a while.

He watched Shinya across the room where he was barely looking up from his phone. Probably on Instagram. The girl next to him looked bored and a little lost, the vocabulary of the discussion perhaps being a little beyond her understanding of Japanese. Kyo felt kind of bad for her. He wondered what connection she had to AJ and what she was doing here.

The guy with the guitar—Maru, Kyo heard Kaoru call him—started talking about different genres and images, how strictly groups had to adhere to one set of rules once they presented themselves as something.

“I guess it’s similar in the US,” AJ mused, “but moreso for female artists. They either get to be sweet, good-girl-next-door types, forbidden from involvement in any scandal, or they’ll be completely sexualized and objectified beyond any power they have to control it. Once they’re set on one path, it’s very difficult to break from that and create a new image.”

“I think the difference here is even the sexualized artists aren’t allowed to be involved in scandals,” Kaoru said.

“I guess female artists always have it worse,” Die said sadly.

“But do we still feel bad for them if they’re sexualizing _themselves_?” Emiko said. She really looked as though she thought it were a valid question, and Kyo thought she was a deeply unpleasant person.

Shinya spoke up then, surprisingly, “In this industry, it’s debatable whether anyone is really able to _choose_ to sexualize themselves. Women especially.”

“Men totally choose though!” the girl next to him said, seeming excited to have something to contribute again. “Like Kyo when he was always bleeding onstage and everything!”

Everyone paused, waiting for her to elaborate.

“Like, he got away from that effeminate image by cutting himself, forcing people to see him sexually,” she went on.

Kyo’s brows knit together. “That… was not a means to sexualize myself…” He wouldn’t deny that he had done plenty of things onstage that were overtly sexual, but calling _that_ particular aspect of his performances something he was doing in order to be seen _sexually_ didn’t really make all that much sense to him. Maybe there was something getting lost in translation with this girl's limited Japanese?

“No?” The girl looked like she didn’t believe him. “It’s so erotic though! I mean, isn’t that a kink a lot of people have?”

“_Blood_?” AJ grimaced. “No, thank you.”

“Kyo is obviously into it though, right?” She stared at him, expecting an answer.

Kaoru was looking uncomfortably between Die and Kyo, poised to intervene at the drop of a hat, Kyo could tell.

Really, Kyo was just kind of baffled by this girl. How the hell had she gone from a discussion about injustice in the music industry to directly asking Kyo outright about his _kinks_? And _why_ the hell did she think she was entitled to that information?

“That’s… a pretty personal question,” he said.

AJ was just shaking his head continuously. “Anything like that is a huge turnoff. I once had an ex who asked to be _spanked_, and just… no.”

Kyo was further confused. Personally he felt neutral about spanking; he could take it or leave it depending on the person and the mood, but it seemed like a fairly benign thing to have such a firm stance against.

“I totally agree,” said the girl with the bangs. “Like ew, you’re not my dad.”

“Spankings should be between a parent and child,” AJ said. “They have no place in the bedroom.”

“Yeah, obviously,” Kyo said, unable to keep his irritation quiet any longer. “I mean, why spank your consenting adult lover, when you could beat up a defenseless kid? Some kinks are so out of control.”

The girl with the bangs blinked at him, her mouth hanging open.

Kaoru looked like he’d just gotten a very bad headache.

AJ laughed in the most awkward way imaginable and muttered a, “well, you’ve got me there…” He kept looking at Kyo though, with great interest.

Kyo ignored his staring, choosing instead to look across at Die, hoping to telepathically communicate to him somehow just how awful this all was. Die, for his part, didn’t look terribly happy either, though he was better than Kyo at putting on a polite face.

Actually, the whole band looked uncomfortable, and the other guests didn’t seem to be enjoying themselves much more, most of them torn between nervous glances at Kyo and AJ, who still hadn’t taken his own eyes off Kyo.

Kaoru was nobly trying to get back to talking about music, but Kyo noticed with some degree of unease that AJ wasn’t really participating. He was still just _watching_ Kyo, as if he were some fascinating nature TV program. He did his best not to look back, so he wouldn’t seem like he was encouraging it.

Only a few minutes passed before the girl who had harassed Kyo about his religious beliefs (or lack thereof) was standing up, giggling as she wobbled slightly and reached out to Die for support. 

“I’m gonna grab another beer,” she said. Emiko muttered something Kyo didn’t catch from his place across the room, and the other girl smacked her shoulder playfully, giggling again. “Does anyone else want any?”

Die shook his head, gesturing to his half-full beer still in his hand.

“Kyo?” she asked. “You want another beer?”

Kyo smiled politely and shook his head. “I’m fine, thank you.” He wasn’t overly bothered by the offer; it wasn’t this random girl’s job to keep track of who was or wasn’t drinking.

But, “_Ayane!_” The foreign girl with the bangs said loudly. “Kyo doesn’t _drink_!”

The long-haired girl—Ayane—covered her mouth with her hands, looking shocked. “Eh?? I didn’t know, I’m sorry!”

Kyo waved a hand. “It’s fine.”

“He _just said_ it,” the foreign girl insisted.

“It’s not a big deal,” Kyo said, a bit louder.

“I am curious though, _why_ you don’t drink,” AJ said then. “It’s really rare for me to meet Japanese guys who want to stay sober, especially in this industry. So is it, what, for health reasons, or do you just _choose_ not to drink, like me?”

Kyo didn’t really appreciate the suggestion that he could be compared to AJ in any respect, but before he could answer, Toshiya was interjecting, “Oh, Kyo just doesn’t like alcohol.”

All at once Kyo felt a stab of irritation that Toshiya would answer for him. It was such an oversimplification of the facts. There were times when he enjoyed a nice fruit wine, or even a cocktail, but that was at _home, _in controlled conditions, not out at some party with people he’d never met and had no interest in meeting. Besides, even if he _didn’t _like alcohol, it was still a _choice_ he made not to drink it. It was becoming clear that the whole party was putting him in such a bad mood that he would get annoyed at anything anyone said now.

“I think you’re better off,” Maru said good-naturedly. “Alcohol is a dangerous business. It leads to many regrets.”

Several people laughed in agreement.

Emiko shook her head. “I don’t believe in regrets.”

Kyo just barely managed not to roll his eyes.

“Hah, I wish I could live like you,” Maru said.

“Every regret you have seemed like the right choice at the time,” Emiko said, something haughty in her tone. “So I don’t have any regrets, not a single one.”

“Wow,” AJ said. “That’s very wise, Emiko. It might be the most profound thing I’ve heard all evening.”

Once again, Kyo’s annoyance got the best of him, and before he could stop himself he was muttering, “It’s not profound, it’s fucking selfish and immature. It might sound pretty on paper, but in reality, regret is part of what makes us human. No regret at all, even after breaking a nail, or hurting a loved one? That’s just bullshit. You’re either a liar or a sociopath, and honestly there’s no great accomplishment in either one, so I don’t get what you’re acting so proud for.”

He hadn’t meant for his voice to rise so steadily as he spoke—he hadn’t even really meant to say it out loud at all, but now everyone was staring at him again. He could already hear Kaoru’s lecture on _playing a role_ and _making a good impression_. Emiko looked like she was on the verge of tears (_could she have been regretting bragging about her lack of remorse so loudly?_), but AJ was looking at Kyo still with something close to glee.

“So, Kyo,” he said seriously, “at what age did you realize you were a very opinionated person?”

Kyo sputtered. “What? I’m not that opinionated.” He looked around at his bandmates for support, but they were all looking away uncomfortably. “I’m not!” He frowned at how he’d been abandoned. “Shinya!” He glared across the room, his demand for backup clear in his expression.

“It is… not the first word I would use to describe you,” Shinya said. “But maybe it’s _one_ of the first words.”

_Betrayal!_

“Perhaps _passionate_ would be a better term for it,” Kaoru suggested.

Kyo scowled as the party guests laughed.

From there, AJ seemed to be actively searching for things that would get some response out of Kyo, deliberately being as offensive as possible, mocking the way the Japanese music scene tended to blur lines of the gender binary, and then actually daring to start in on the “benefits of censorship” in the media.

Kyo was working hard to keep any further outbursts to himself, refusing to take the bait, and letting his bandmates handle it instead, but he was about to lose his chill when it got to this topic.

“Think about it, though,” AJ was saying. “The government has a right to protect its image. Who is it really helping to have looser restrictions? Do the nation’s citizens _need_ to be exposed to that kind of thing?”

Across the room, Kyo dimly noticed Die getting up from the sofa and starting towards the hallway, heading presumably for the restroom.

“I’m fairly sure,” Kyo said through gritted teeth, “that the _nation’s citizens_ are entitled to make the choice for _themselves_ what they’re expo—” He cut off as Die suddenly tripped over nothing, and in a bizarre moment of uncharacteristic gracelessness, ended up pouring half his beer into Kyo’s lap, some splashing up onto his own shirt as well.

“Oh, shit!” Die said, one hand over his mouth. “Kyo, man, I’m so sorry.”

Kyo looked up at him, bewildered. Had his boyfriend had that much more to drink than he’d realized?

The girls were giggling as Die struggled to help Kyo up from his armchair.

“Wow, that’s a lot,” AJ said with a grimace.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Die said again. “Um, c’mon, maybe we can clean it…”

“Go in the master bathroom,” AJ said. “There should be some stain remover under the sink in there. If you do it sooner it’s less likely to be bad.”

“Thanks,” Die said, tugging Kyo by one hand down the hall.

“You’re welcome to borrow something to wear, Kyo, whatever you can find!” AJ called after them.

Kyo let himself be led into the bedroom, and then the bathroom, before he turned on Die with his bad mood. “What the hell, Die?”

To his surprise, Die replied by backing him up against the sink and kissing him deeply, his fingers deftly starting to unbutton Kyo’s shirt.

Kyo pulled back in confusion. “What…?”

“I’m sorry I got beer on you,” Die said. “I just had to find some way to get us out of there. That guy was seriously pissing me off.”

“AJ?”

“Yeah, AJ, it must stand for… Asshole… Jackass,” Die said, pulling Kyo’s shirt off his shoulders and dropping it into the sink behind him. He nipped at Kyo’s earlobe with his teeth.

“That’s a pretty unfortunate name,” Kyo said. “Two asses. No wonder he goes by AJ.”

“I couldn’t stand him looking at you like that,” Die said in Kyo’s ear. “So predatory, like he could just eat you up. Like you weren’t making it obvious that you weren’t interested.”

“What, you think he was hitting on me?” Kyo raised an eyebrow.

“In his fucked-up way,” Die said.

“But he kept saying all that offensive shit! I thought he was just trying to get me mad.” Kyo’s eyelids fluttered closed as Die sucked lightly at a spot below his ear.

“Kaoru’s right about you being passionate, though,” Die said, pausing in his attentions to Kyo’s neck to speak. He groped at Kyo’s ass as he went on, “For some people, seeing you angry is the only way they really get to experience that passion.”

“Hmm, not you, though,” Kyo said, smiling as Die kissed his neck once more, right over his tattoo.

“No,” Die agreed, and stepped back. He knelt to open the cupboard under the sink beside Kyo’s legs. “Which is why I _am_ sorry about your shirt.” He moved a few bottles around, looking for the stain remover.

“You know, you got it all over my pants, too,” Kyo said, and smirked as he started to unbutton his tight skinny jeans. Die looked up at him, eyes a bit wide. His gaze moved down to watch Kyo’s hands, and his tongue darted out across his lips as Kyo’s zipper was lowered.

“I’m… really sorry about that,” Die said. “Is there something you’d like me to do to make it up to you?”

“Open up,” Kyo instructed.

Die complied, and the sight of him like that was enough to have Kyo almost fully hard by the time he freed his cock.

Kyo couldn’t resist dragging the tip of his cock across Die’s lips, getting them wet and shiny with his pre-cum. He loved how Die never took his eyes off him. Then he pushed slowly into his mouth, and finally Die’s eyes closed in apparent pleasure, almost _relief_.

Die always gave the best head, knew some fantastic things to do with his tongue, and it didn’t take long before Kyo was gripping the bathroom sink behind him, his head falling back as he suppressed a moan.

“That’s so—_yes_, just like that.”

It was no surprise that Die knew exactly how to work him; as far as Kyo could tell from what Die had told him, sucking Kyo off was one of his all-time favorite activities—up there with playing guitar, watching baseball, and getting his ass eaten. Kyo was never one to deny Die his favorite things.

Except he knew another thing Die loved was hearing him fall apart, lose control, and at least at the moment, Kyo was able to retain the sense that told him they needed to stay quiet if they didn’t want to attract the attention of the people still out at the party.

So, Kyo kept his praise whispered, showed his appreciation with affectionate touches to Die’s face and hair.

Die took him in deeper, brought one hand up to cup and squeeze Kyo’s balls, and a low moan rumbled in Kyo’s chest. He could never keep it together long once Die went after his weaknesses, and sure enough a moment later, Die’s fingers were creeping back to trace around Kyo’s rim, and Kyo tensed, biting his lip to keep from crying out.

“Fuck—be careful—I’m so clo-ose.”

Die hummed encouragingly, the tip of one finger slipping inside, and—

There was a knock at the bathroom door.

Kyo clapped a hand over his mouth, frozen right on the brink of orgasm, while Die looked up at him with wide eyes.

“How’s it going in there, is it coming out?” AJ’s voice carried through the door.

Kyo didn’t remove the hand covering his mouth, in a state of panic at how he might sound responding. 

Fortunately (if somewhat torturously), Die pulled off of Kyo’s dick and called, “Still working on it, guess I spilled more than I realized.”

“You wanna just leave it to soak for a while?” AJ offered.

“Maybe,” Die said. His eyes darted around the bathroom and he jerked his head towards the walk-in closet. “I think Kyo’s having trouble finding something to change into. He’s still looking.”

Obediently, Kyo crept as silently as possible to the door of the closet and peered inside.

“All right, well if you need any help, just holler.”

“We’ll do that,” Die said, and Kyo heard AJ’s retreating footsteps, followed by the soft sound of Die closing the bathroom cabinet.

It took a moment for Kyo to find the lightswitch, but once he did he wrinkled his nose at the array of clothing before him.

Kyo would never be one to deny that on occasion, he made some questionable fashion choices, but the entirety of AJ’s wardrobe struck him as unwearable; polo shirts in neutral colors, khaki shorts, just generally things he probably wouldn't wear even if he was being paid.

“I don’t know, Die, I think I’d rather go out there in my boxers than in any of this,” Kyo said with a sigh, not bothering to look over his shoulder at his boyfriend.

“Hmm, or you could take those off, too,” Die suggested, the warmth of him pressing up against Kyo’s back, “and instead of going out there, we could stay in here.”

Kyo turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow. “What are you thinking we’d do in here? You gonna get back on your knees and finish me off?”

Die shrugged. “I could. Or, he’s got a nice big bathtub. Or.” He held up a bottle in one hand. “Look what else I found under the sink.”

Kyo’s eyes focused on the lubricant and he let out a loud snort. He grinned as an idea came to him. Running a bath would probably be too loud to hide from the party, but…

“C’mere,” Kyo said, tugging Die by the hand deeper into the walk-in closet.

“You’re right, these clothes are even uglier than most of what I’ve seen you wear.”

“Lie down on your back,” Kyo said.

Die paused, looked down at the wide carpeted floor. “In here?”

Kyo nodded, looping his arms around Die’s waist. Leaning up to whisper in his ear, he said, “I wanna ride you.”

“Oh,” Die said. He pressed a quick kiss to Kyo’s jaw and then positioned himself on the floor, already hurrying to undo his pants. His eyes stayed on Kyo all the while. “You’re not worried that we’ll get caught?”

“Nah,” Kyo said. “‘Sides, if we do, it’s their own fault for forcing us back into the closet for this stupid party.”

Die laughed, pushed his hips up. “Get down here.”

Kyo’s pants were still low enough that his cock was out, and he gave it a few lazy strokes as he stood over Die. “You wanna watch me fuck myself open?”

“Every day,” Die said.

Kyo rolled his eyes, but he pushed his pants and underwear down and fully off, and settled himself astride Die’s long thighs.

“I was so close before he interrupted,” Kyo complained idly as he poured lube over his fingers. “Think now I hate him as much as you do.”

“Eases any guilt over using his lube and fucking in his closet,” Die agreed.

“He should be thanking us really, putting this hellscape to some good use.”

“I doubt very much he’d see it that way.”

“Yeah, right, he’d probably enjoy the show,” Kyo said as he started sliding the first finger inside himself.

Die’s eyes narrowed and his hands were firm on Kyo’s hips. “Don’t even say that.”

“You don’t think he’d get off on it?”

“No one else gets this show,” Die said, and it was almost too pleading to sound properly possessive.

Kyo smiled mercifully at him before pushing back in harder with two fingers. “_Die_,” he moaned. “Only you.”

“Fuck, that’s right,” Die said. He worked his own pants down enough to take out his cock, which Kyo never grew tired of admiring, especially hard as it was. Die slicked himself up with lube, but made no demands that Kyo be ready more quickly.

All the same, Kyo rushed through the rest of his prep, too eager to get Die’s cock inside him. He pulled his fingers out and wiped his hand on the plush carpet before leaning down to kiss Die’s smiling mouth. “Love you.”

“I love you,” Die said. “And after this, I promise to get your clothes cleaned, for real.”

Kyo laughed as he situated himself better. “Like I really give a fuck.” He reached back to hold Die’s cock steady as he sank down onto it with a groan.

“_Yes_,” Die breathed, a blissed-out look on his face as Kyo took him in all the way.

He felt exactly right, reaching all the points inside Kyo that he couldn’t get to on his own, making him feel gloriously open and maddeningly _filled_ at the same time.

Kyo’s hands clutched blindly at Die’s shirt, and he circled his hips just to feel that perfect stretch and fullness.

He wanted to take his sweet time, to enjoy this closeness with his lover, but miraculously a small voice in the back of his mind was cognizant enough to remind him that they didn’t have all night for this, and there would be other opportunities, when they were really _alone_, to go slow.

He raised himself up on his knees and brought himself down hard, forcing a gasp out of Die.

“We don’t have much time,” Kyo said, setting his quick pace. “But I wanna cum, with you inside me.” He looked down at Die’s face, always so trusting and conveying such ardor. He loved that Die could look at him that way.

“I want that, too,” Die said, his hands on Kyo’s hips to keep him steady as he bounced. “Want to go back out there with you all disheveled and well-fucked, and none of them able to know for sure what happened.”

“I’d be happy to tell them,” Kyo said, pausing to grind slow and dirty against him. “Tell them how fucking good your dick feels deep in my ass.”

“Fuck, Kyo,” Die growled. He gripped him more tightly and thrust up hard. “You love it like this, don’t you? So deep you can taste me?”

“God, you always know just how to fuck me,” Kyo said. “Love this, being close to you—Fuck, I hate having to be far away from you, having to fucking—”

“I know,” Die said. He curled his fingers just right around Kyo’s aching cock. “But it’s okay, you can let go now, you can cum for me.”

Die’s hand on him felt incredible, and the tightness inside Kyo was threatening to snap. “Want you to cum, too,” Kyo said.

“I will, gorgeous.”

“Inside me,” Kyo said, firmly, even if it was followed by a whimper. “Wanna feel you leaking out of me for the rest of this stupid fucking party.”

“Jesus Christ,” Die whispered, his eyelids fluttering. “I’ll make sure you feel it.”

He only jerked Kyo’s cock a few more times before Kyo was cumming with a silent scream, spilling into Die’s hand poised to catch it all.

Die followed shortly, a suppressed grunt the only sound as he thrust in deep and pulsed out his release into Kyo’s body.

They didn’t linger the way they would have normally, kissing and holding each other, basking in the sheer naked presence of one another. Instead, they picked themselves up rather quickly, made sure to spitefully smear more cum over the carpet before going to clean up fully in the bathroom. Die found Kyo a plain white t-shirt to wear back into the living room, and kissed him about forty-seven times while he was trying to get it over his head.

“You’re making this difficult, you know,” Kyo laughed against his mouth.

“‘Cause I don’t want to go back out there,” Die said, holding Kyo close.

“Neither do I. But there can’t be much left.”

“AJ’s bound to ask what took us so long.”

“Then you’d better think of a story, ‘cause if you let me answer, I’ll just tell the truth.”

“I know.” Die nuzzled against Kyo’s jaw. “I love that about you.”

“What, my self-destructive tendencies?”

“Your honesty, your sense of self.” Die pressed one more kiss below Kyo’s ear before backing up so he could finish dressing. “It’s something I’ve admired as long as I’ve known you.”

Kyo pulled at the hem of the t-shirt. It was a little long, but tolerable. At least it covered the wet spots still on his jeans from the beer. “Come home with me tonight?”

Die’s smile left Kyo’s whole body warm. “Thought you’d never ask.”

They did a final sweep of the bathroom and closet to make sure everything was left (more or less) as they’d found it.

“We should’ve been really kinky, just ‘cause he’d hate it,” Kyo mused, unfolding and refolding the still-damp stain-treated shirt he’d had to take off. “Should’ve had you spank me till I was begging for mercy or something.”

Die raised an eyebrow. “Is that something you feel our sex life is missing?”

Kyo shrugged. “I don’t feel like we’re missing anything. It would’ve just been a spite-spanking.”

“I’d rather do it for you than for him.”

Die’s hand was on the bathroom doorknob, but Kyo stopped him, threw his arms around him for one last hug and a passionate kiss before they had to rejoin the others.

“Thank you,” he said. “For everything you do for me."

They took a deep breath before heading back out to finish the party, and Kyo hardly noticed anything going on around him the rest of the night. There was comfort in having Die there, even across the room, and in knowing that at least they could always make the most of a bad situation.


End file.
